How do christian men/women interpret 'submissiveness' in a marriage?

[johnpaulpeter]

Originally Posted by Heneni

How do christian men/women interpret 'submissiveness' in a marriage?

I think you are alluding to the Scripture in Ephesians 5:22 that says "Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands, as unto the Lord" and Colossians 3:18 which says just about the same thing.

I am placing side by side two commentaries. One from my favorite "Calvinist", and the other from my favorite "Arminian", respectively. Choose for yourself which one you think is closest to what the verse actually means, or decide for yourself if both commentators are correct.

From John Gill's Exposition of the Bible

Ephesians 5:22

Wives, submit yourselves unto your own husbands…
This is an instance, explaining the above general rule; which subjection lies in honour and reverence, (Ephesians 5:33) , and in obedience; they should think well of their husbands, speak becomingly to them, and respectfully of them; the wife should take care of the family, and family affairs, according to the husband's will; should imitate him in what is good, and bear with that which is not so agreeable; she should not curiously inquire into his business, but leave the management of it to him; she should help and assist in caring and providing for the family; and should abide with him in prosperity and adversity, and do nothing without his will and consent: and this subjection is only to her husband; not to any other man, nor to her children, nor to her servants, or any brought into her house; and this consideration should render the subjection more easy, voluntary, and cheerful: and which is but reasonable that it should be; as may be gathered from the time, matter, and end of the woman's creation, she was made after him, out of him, and for him; and from her fall, and being first in the transgression; and from her being the weaker and inferior sex; and from the profitableness and comeliness of it; and the credit of religion requires it, that so the word of God be not blasphemed: wherefore it follows,

as unto the Lord;

And now a word from the prolific songwriter and my favorite Arminian.

John Wesley's Explanatory Notes
on the Whole Bible


The Book of Ephesians
Chapter 5

5:22 In the following directions concerning relative duties, the inferiors are all along placed before the superiors, because the general proposition is concerning submission; and inferiors ought to do their duty, whatever their superiors do. Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands - Unless where God forbids. Otherwise, in all indifferent things, the will of the husband is a law to the wife. As unto the Lord - The obedience a wife pays to her husband is at the same time paid to Christ himself; he being head of the wife, as Christ is head of the church.

Neither one of these two will be considered "politically correct" under the so-called "standards" of our present time and culture, and the qualities of wifely submission and husbandly duties these two children of God speak of are sadly absent in many marriages today, or are present in the early years and then fade off, thereby the increase in divorces and remarriage among many even in Christendom so-called.

On December 14th 2009, my wife and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage.

We have learned from these years of marital experience that the matter of who is boss depends entirely on WHO'S carrying the biggest stick...

NAAAAAAH! I'm just kidding!


We are best friends, we walk together as one, IN Christ Jesus, we confide in each other, and in him, without fear of being mishandled by one another, or especially Jesus.

Neither of us is BOSS over the other, Jesus said that we are to love one another and I believe this especially applies to Gods Holy union of marriage.

My wife and I share all responsibilities of our home, we both cook, we both clean, and we both hold one another accountable.

Who's boss?

Jesus of course......

God Bless!

Michael

[serenity]

Originally Posted by PentecostalEvangelist

On December 14th 2009, my wife and I will celebrate 33 years of marriage. Michael

Congratulations on your anniversary. Thirty-three years.. wonderful.

I have been remarried for 12 years now. We celebrated our anniversary on 12/24. In my heart this is my first marriage. It is so completely different from my first that I realize now I had the wrong opinion of what marriage was for so many years.

We have a wonderful relationship. We share everything. We enjoy time away from one another as much as we do with one another, but we always say "I love you" at least 5 times a day. We both work, we both cook, and we both clean, although I prefer to clean because, well...he has this weird idea of what cleaning is.. nah.. We never fight, and I mean never.. We are both totally comfortable and happy and set in our ways. I look at him as my protector and my heart. My 22 year old son looks at him as a good father. I always let him handle situations because he is much more cooler than I am and seems to get a better handle on things. So, even though he always asks, i always tell him.. "whatever you think is best"..

So, in my own personal opinion, if the relationship is right and you are with the person you are meant to be with, it is right in God's eyes. I hope that is how it is anyway. I think submissiveness is more in the heart.

[Amadeus]

Glory to God! My wife and I celebrated 36 years last June. Our life together in God is the only life that we know.

[Beauty1]

If I'm not mistaken the Word says for the husband and wife to submit themselves one to another. In no way does it mean that the husband is the boss over the wife. It works both ways. I understand the husband to be the spiritual high priest of the home. Not the boss over the wife.

[Amadeus]

You are correct Beauty1! There should be no 'boss'. After we have married we should work on becoming one flesh. Now for example it is quite common for my wife and I frequently finish up each other sentences. It certainly was not like that 30 some years ago. Now we would be lost without each other. Glory to God!

I think it was bill cosby who said he is not the boss of the house because he has seen the job,.... and he doesnt want it!!

seriously nowerdays its kinda gotta be equal. I do strongly believe that the male should be the spiritual leader under Christ in the home.Also the main disciplinarian (if children apply) but as far as everything else its should be equal.

I hope my humor does not offend , but my step-mom use to say " He may be the ruler of the roost but I am the ruler of the rooster". She even had a plague on the wall in her kitchen that stated that quote.

T

[Amadeus]

Originally Posted by DeeperStill

I hope my humor does not offend , but my step-mom use to say " He may be the ruler of the roost but I am the ruler of the rooster". She even had a plague on the wall in her kitchen that stated that quote.

T

Amen! I would be lost (in a natural sense) without my wife!