[alphaomega3160]

Originally Posted by Wholemeal

There have been preconceptions that i've had with our religion .My current state of confusion is based upon these.
1) You must not get divorced, for it is blasphemy. I'm not sure what verse this is in the bible but it's always been something i thought christianity upheld.
2) No sex before marriage.

Recently, i've been looking forward into my life. I want to marry and have children with a spouse i love very much. But over the years, i've come to realise that no matter what happens love is fickle. If i found a woman i loved very much and i married her, what happens when i stop? There is no foreseeing this. And then we are bound to an unhappy marriage. I will most likely be unhappy and most likely develop depression. Does god want me to suffer because i chose the wrong spouse?

I guess the solution to my dilema is to not marry at all. And i guess it means i will have to give up my dreams of being a father. But without a spouse i will die lonely and i cannot have children until i am married. Either way, it seems like i will be unhappy in both cases. Maybe i must be unhappy here to reach heaven. Maybe we were put here to suffer so that we may have an eternity of wonder. But than what about the people who enjoy life? I can see that this confusion has many premises and if you attack the core premise my concerns all fall appart. Please clarify this with me.

IN YOUR QUEST TO FIND AN ANSWER TO THIS VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM THAT YOU WRESTLE WITH I OFFER ; NOT AN ANSWER BUT A PATH YOU MAY WANT TO EXPLORE ; IT IS CERTAINLY NOT THE ONLY PATH BUT YOU MAY FIND THINGS DOWN THIS PATH THAT MAY HELP YOU

was adam and eve married _?
so we have hit on ; what is marriage
what i have found marriage to be is a public declartion of two people that they are now one person ; only for each other
* the key here is that marriage is a public declaration
did adam and eve make such a declaration-?

what i am saying to you is ; you might want to pick up a copy of adam and eve the lost books and read thru it ; making sure you at least get past the part about the marriage of cain

i would be willing to talk further with you after you have done this

[thequestioner]

Originally Posted by Wholemeal

There have been preconceptions that i've had with our religion .My current state of confusion is based upon these.
1) You must not get divorced, for it is blasphemy. I'm not sure what verse this is in the bible but it's always been something i thought christianity upheld.
2) No sex before marriage.

Recently, i've been looking forward into my life. I want to marry and have children with a spouse i love very much. But over the years, i've come to realise that no matter what happens love is fickle. If i found a woman i loved very much and i married her, what happens when i stop? There is no foreseeing this. And then we are bound to an unhappy marriage. I will most likely be unhappy and most likely develop depression. Does god want me to suffer because i chose the wrong spouse?

I guess the solution to my dilema is to not marry at all. And i guess it means i will have to give up my dreams of being a father. But without a spouse i will die lonely and i cannot have children until i am married. Either way, it seems like i will be unhappy in both cases. Maybe i must be unhappy here to reach heaven. Maybe we were put here to suffer so that we may have an eternity of wonder. But than what about the people who enjoy life? I can see that this confusion has many premises and if you attack the core premise my concerns all fall appart. Please clarify this with me.

Hey WholeMeal, well first off there are stages of relationships like we all know, theres attraction, puppy love, then real love. Now when you get in a relationship the first thing is the attraction, you constantly want to be with the person and be around them. Then comes puppy love which can last up to a year from my experience, and this is when you don't think anything bad can happen, that you have it all figured out, and it feels good. Then after a while real love comes into play because you stop feeling that good warm tingly feeling which we as a society have taught that is love, and when its gone you may think you have fallen "out of love". This is impossible, you cannot fall out of love, in the cases where two people get married and then a couple years down the road get divorced and say that they fell out of love, really and truly it was just a long stage of puppy love. Back to real love, when this happens(you feel like you don't love them) you either have two choices, stay, or go. You have to weigh the chances of if you love them or if it was just a good time. Then real love is what keeps you with you spouse, its what keeps you from going after another person to get that feeling again.

To somewhat try and answer your question i would say that marriage is definitely the right way, I am 17, I have been going out with my girl friend for a year and almost a half. Puppy love left a few months ago and our relationship hit bump after bump and it just felt like god was saying that we weren't for each other. Then we took a "break" (lol of course meaning we broke up with the intention of getting back together) at first i just played some video games and just ignored the situation, then it started to eat at me and i would find myself reaching for my phone to text her. It was in some ways tearing me apart and making everything i do tiresome. I started to notice that I hadn't fallen out of love, but I just got past the puppy love part(thanks to my coach/mentor/boss/friend who let me vent to him about it, btw pray for him he is getting married on the 13th of feburary!) and then everything stated getting better after I realized that I love her, for real not just pizza love or fake love, yeah yeah im 17 lol I dont plan to get married any time soon(shooting for 24ish) Back to your question(sorry i rant sometimes bout this stuff) If you truely love someone and can say it with no hesitation then marriage is the way, but if you chose not to marry because of commitment issues or laziness then you might want to talk to a priest.

Hope this was helpful, sorry for the mid-sentence rants lol!

[thequestioner]

Originally Posted by alphaomega3160

IN YOUR QUEST TO FIND AN ANSWER TO THIS VERY SERIOUS PROBLEM THAT YOU WRESTLE WITH I OFFER ; NOT AN ANSWER BUT A PATH YOU MAY WANT TO EXPLORE ; IT IS CERTAINLY NOT THE ONLY PATH BUT YOU MAY FIND THINGS DOWN THIS PATH THAT MAY HELP YOU

was adam and eve married _?
so we have hit on ; what is marriage
what i have found marriage to be is a public declartion of two people that they are now one person ; only for each other
* the key here is that marriage is a public declaration
did adam and eve make such a declaration-?

what i am saying to you is ; you might want to pick up a copy of adam and eve the lost books and read thru it ; making sure you at least get past the part about the marriage of cain

i would be willing to talk further with you after you have done this

Marriage is also the union before God that proclaims that your soul wishes to be connected to your companions for eternity...if we get all theological about it I looked the book up its pretty good read a few chapters here and there at borders! I like it.

[thequestioner]

Originally Posted by CatholicCrusader

1) As for sex before marriage, that is what the Bible calls "Fornication". The Bible is pretty clear on that: Is is a mortal sin.

2) As for divorce, I would direct you to read this: LINK

Good link CC!!!!!

Fornication, even to people who don't know what it means it sounds like a bad word... Think about it this was WholeMeal(btw ima call you WM from now on its easier to type) when you love some one you tell them so, when you have sex your body is saying it loves them to. So if you don't love them then don't let your body say so.... Also, is it your place to take from someone their most precious gift? Even if you are engaged or getting married or hell if your just dating there is never a time or place for stealing from another. Would you steal communion from the alter(thats a good way to think about it) ok going on a rant here...>_<... in Religous Education you are taught that your body is a temple of the holy spirit, a tabernacle for Jesus christ, and the thought of having sex with a tabernacle is uhh...kinda weird. But if your not Christian then think of it like this, sex is not bad, it is like a thousand dollar bill, you don't waste a thousand dollar bill on nothing you get something very nice, or you wait for the right thing to spend it on. Hope this was helpful and if not then remember...im only 17

[thequestioner]

haha just checked the dates on the post, o.O im a lil late on posting haha!

[alphaomega3160]

Originally Posted by thequestioner

Marriage is also the union before God that proclaims that your soul wishes to be connected to your companions for eternity...if we get all theological about it I looked the book up its pretty good read a few chapters here and there at borders! I like it.

did you notice ; that adam did not marry eve
* they always were one

a marriage shows that from this time forward we are one

if you still have that book; (adam and eve )
look at the marriage of cain

[thelowlyfisherman]

Originally Posted by Wholemeal

There have been preconceptions that i've had with our religion .My current state of confusion is based upon these.
1) You must not get divorced, for it is blasphemy. I'm not sure what verse this is in the bible but it's always been something i thought christianity upheld.
2) No sex before marriage.

Recently, i've been looking forward into my life. I want to marry and have children with a spouse i love very much. But over the years, i've come to realise that no matter what happens love is fickle. If i found a woman i loved very much and i married her, what happens when i stop? There is no foreseeing this. And then we are bound to an unhappy marriage. I will most likely be unhappy and most likely develop depression. Does god want me to suffer because i chose the wrong spouse?

I guess the solution to my dilema is to not marry at all. And i guess it means i will have to give up my dreams of being a father. But without a spouse i will die lonely and i cannot have children until i am married. Either way, it seems like i will be unhappy in both cases. Maybe i must be unhappy here to reach heaven. Maybe we were put here to suffer so that we may have an eternity of wonder. But than what about the people who enjoy life? I can see that this confusion has many premises and if you attack the core premise my concerns all fall appart. Please clarify this with me.

I guess the first problem I see is that common American misconception that love is some kind of a fleeting feeling. The feeling you are referring to is not love at all, it is lust. Love is an action, a commitment to do what is best for the other, a dying to self.
With-out such a clear and mature vision of what love is, please don't marry. Lust will certainly go away and then you are left with nothing unless you understand thats when love really starts.
My wife and I have been married for 23 years and I haven't started loving her yet. I still like her.

[WFG]

Wholemeal-

All you really need do is, trust God alone. He has given you His Word and shows how He started man with a single couple in the beginning.

Theres nothing wrong with marriage.... if you let God bring the two of you together as a couple. Why? Read- "I Gave God Time".

Fact is, God knows whats best per person. As God declared thru Paul as well, it would be better to stay single to be available to God in all ways. Yet, if look at history of Christianity, many a married couple have made an incredible team for God as well.

Let Him lead you down the path He has chosen for you, and leave your desires at His Feet to apply them in your life as He sees fit. You will live much happier with Him walking ahead of you in all things.

God Bless!!