[Kriizzle]

Before I get too far into things, let me give a little background on myself (since I'm new and no one really knows me).

I was raised primarily by my mother. We didn't go to church, we never talked about God, and there was only a single Bible in the house (and only because my mom wanted to make her parents happy). My dad remarried when I was five to a woman who was (and still is) a Seventh-Day Adventist. Because of complications with my mom, I decided to live with my dad when I entered the 8th grade. Being as my dad is quite submissive, passive, and a work-a-holic, my step-mother, Ronni, was now the person controlling me. Within 24 hours of moving in, she told me I would no longer be going to a public school because "that's what was corrupting me and my soul." I was placed into a Seventh-Day Adventist academy and then preceeded to have religion shoved down my throat.

I'm a stubborn girl to the core... so obviously, I rejected most of what I heard for a while. And then I started observing. I could pass my Bible class by writing down word-for-word scriptures, not having to memorize or remember any of it. At church, the teenagers were repeating verbatm what was said in class and what their parents said. I noticed that everyone was just repeating everything, not questioning any of it. It wasn't until my senior year of high school that I had a Bible teacher that I enjoyed. One, because we didn't do much "Bible work" and for two, he didn't shove anything down my throat. He wanted us to ask questions, defend our thoughts, and interrperate everything for ourselves. He didn't want us to have "his" religion.

It seems, that many Christians I know and that I've talked to, are only that way because of their parents and so-on and so-forth. I'm not trying to be condiscending towards anybody, just an observation I've made. I've been told countless times that I ask too much and I doubt too much, but in my mind, that's what makes it worth while. I'm not about to follow or do anything that I don't know. Why wouldn't I ask questions? And why would I follow a God based on ONLY what my parents say.... Ronni had an interesting way of painting God. He was nice and cool, but only when I was being good. Otherwise I was "going straight to hell." I know that's not true, but still.

I just don't get why so many people blindly follow Jesus without any questions... doesn't God want us to ask questions? I mean.... why wouldn't He?

My Grandparetns raised me from birth so I have to go with what was their religion?

They were Free Will Baptists, my Grandmother played piano, and sang with a gospel quartet that consisted of her, and three Male church Pastors.

My Grandfather was the senior deacon of our church, he taught the Adult Sunday School class and he was the chairman of the state presbytary board that licsesned and ordained ministers and deacons.

My Grandfather was a fake Christian to the core, he put on his act when he was around other christians but when he was away from them his true nature came out in brilliant color, he cussed a lot, and he was very mean, and he was extremely abusive, physically, and verbally.

Not one day went by during my childhood that Grandpa didn't give me a good beating because it was good for me and a day didn't pass that he didn't tell me that I was a stupid ignorant worthless fool who would never amount to any good at all.

But everytime there was church my Grandparents took me and my sister there, we sat through a lot of church services and we heard a lot of preaching, and it was that preaching that we boht heard that got implanted into our hearts.

Proverbs 22:6. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.

I became an alcoholic and a drug addict at an early age, my heart and mind was constantly tormented by the memories of my Grandfathers abuse and other abuses I suffered at the hands of an uncle, as a child growing up.

I spent years running from God believing I was worthless, believing that no one not even God could love a useless piece of trash like me.

But no matter how much I tried to make God hate me, he loved me constantly and consistently until I surrendered to him, and was saved.

I have forgiven eery person who abused me, and I have a peace beyond all comprehension in my heart now.

I don't know if this answered anything or not, just shared my own truth.....

God Bless!

Michael Loudermilk

[ChaplainLukens]

Hi Its nice to meet you again. I joined this site late tonite. I am a overseer of the prisons in Philadelphia I am a Facility Chaplain. I listen to and encourage alot of people. Here is a story that is true: My Uncle was a wonderful artist. He was so talented. His art work looked like a picture from a camera. At my fathers funeral he mentioned his talent but not so sure about who God is.Since I spent 20 years in the missions field showing people the way to the Lord, I prayed and God did this for me. During the attack on New York City in 9/11, my Aunt was too tired to go to work . They decided to take one more day off, because she was too tired to go to work at the Pentagon . SHe was a secretary for 25 years, since high school. That decision, we know was wisdom from God to save her life. We know many people were lost that day, but we have to thank God for saving her life. Her section was the one hit by the terrorist plane. This sent a revelation of Gods hand to my Uncle George.of Gods caring about our family. Following Jesus is not a religion, it is a blessing and transformation. It is often the ones who resist the most, that God wants to bless the most. My husband was saved out of an outlaw bike gang, and myself drugs and alcohol. I went to over 200 rock concerts in my day. God saved us both, and we went to share good news with others! We have six children, who are mostly grown. He went home to meet God almost 3 years ago. His testimony lives on to help men and women become promise keepers in the prison. Remember that Gods loves us anyhow. This is the hard thing to fathom. Gods loves is pure. May God bless you, you are here for a reason. Keep on seeking!

[Kriizzle]

I'm sorry for your hardships... I really am as I have been there as well. *hugs*

I thinks that those that wander from God, end up in a huge mess, and have God hit us on the back of the head saying, "Told ya so!" (lol) are going to get what I'm saying more.

I think that Bible verse though isn't truth for everyone... I was raised for five years in the church... and I'm so far away from it that my step-mother thinks I'm bound for hell for sure... which makes me giggle...

I've never been "saved" but I've never fully denied God either... I've never had a pinnacle moment in my life that made me want to sit in church every Saturday... not my idea of "fun with a friend"....

[Etherna]

Wow, great testimonies. What is it all about? Salvation? Everyone needs salvation. And God knows exactly where we are and what we need. My dad was an unbeliever who strictly forbade me to go to the church. My mother was a believer but she was so afraid of my Dad. She used to help my dad forbidding me to worship God. But I kept on seeking God by my own way. I prayed to God alone and read the Bible when my parents had fallen asleep. I faced so many hardships in maintaining my faith, but I never stepped back. This is my life testimony. God knows me very well. He knows I love Him so much and He reveals Himself to me. God loves you, sweetheart. You must come to Him and surrender all. One day if you need Him, just tell Him about it in your prayer. He is a faithful God. Bless you, dear.

[quote]

Originally Posted by Kriizzle

I've never been "saved" but I've never fully denied God either... I've never had a pinnacle moment in my life that made me want to sit in church every Saturday... not my idea of "fun with a friend"....

Let me ask..what do you think it means to be saved?

[johnpaulpeter]

I think that there are many young people today who are not in church because precisely of the religion of their parents.
Many are disillusioned because there is no practice of what is preached, and many do not even know just exactly what their parents believe.

Originally Posted by Kriizzle

I'm sorry for your hardships... I really am as I have been there as well. *hugs*

I thinks that those that wander from God, end up in a huge mess, and have God hit us on the back of the head saying, "Told ya so!" (lol) are going to get what I'm saying more.

I think that Bible verse though isn't truth for everyone... I was raised for five years in the church... and I'm so far away from it that my step-mother thinks I'm bound for hell for sure... which makes me giggle...

I've never been "saved" but I've never fully denied God either... I've never had a pinnacle moment in my life that made me want to sit in church every Saturday... not my idea of "fun with a friend"....

Krizzel, You have just answered my question I asked in your other post.
You are not born again yet, and you need to come to Jesus for your salvation, and your eternal destination.
You have one regardless, but you dont want the one you are in now.
Eternal separation from God is not a good choice.

What you are doing, Living unmarried with your boy friend?
That comes quit natural for one who has not been saved.......not that it cant happen,to true Christians, but not normally.
If you truly love this young man, make your commitment to Christ, and pray your friend does too.
Wait for that to happen for we are not to be unequally yoked.

You, dear one, have some serious issues to resolve, and they may not be easy, but need to be done.

You can come to Jesus right where you are, in the quietness of your heart, and ask him to forgive, come into your heart, and life, and start down a new road to life eternal.

Seek a fellowship where you can grow in the knowledge of God, flee from this relationship you are now in, and allow God to be first in your life.

I pray you will be serious about this, for as I said before, we can make our choices, but cannot choose the consequence there of.

Eternity is a long time to spend separated from God........Today is the day of Salvation, Choose Jesus, he loves you more than anyone else.
Will be praying for you....

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the Life, no man come to the Father but by him.
He stands at the hearts door, and knocks.
Allow him to enter and make your life new.

[Kriizzle]

Originally Posted by Keturah

Krizzel, You have just answered my question I asked in your other post.
You are not born again yet, and you need to come to Jesus for your salvation, and your eternal destination.
You have one regardless, but you dont want the one you are in now.
Eternal separation from God is not a good choice.

What you are doing, Living unmarried with your boy friend?
That comes quit natural for one who has not been saved.......not that it cant happen,to true Christians, but not normally.
If you truly love this young man, make your commitment to Christ, and pray your friend does too.
Wait for that to happen for we are not to be unequally yoked.

You, dear one, have some serious issues to resolve, and they may not be easy, but need to be done.

You can come to Jesus right where you are, in the quietness of your heart, and ask him to forgive, come into your heart, and life, and start down a new road to life eternal.

Seek a fellowship where you can grow in the knowledge of God, flee from this relationship you are now in, and allow God to be first in your life.

I pray you will be serious about this, for as I said before, we can make our choices, but cannot choose the consequence there of.

Eternity is a long time to spend separated from God........Today is the day of Salvation, Choose Jesus, he loves you more than anyone else.
Will be praying for you....

Jesus is the way, the truth, and the Life, no man come to the Father but by him.
He stands at the hearts door, and knocks.
Allow him to enter and make your life new.

Keturah - The one request I have is the whole telling me I have issues. That's not what was up for discussion. I know my issues, and so does God. Every fellowship I've been to I've left because something is not right with everyone of them. Maybe it's because I have yet to find a church that is not an exactly replica of it's former years. Robot after robot. Not my idea of a Godly people.
I guess I didn't explain the whole "saved" topic well enough. I'm not saved in most people's eyes. I don't go to church every weekend, I didn't have a pinnacle moment in my life where it all made sense that I needed God, yadda yadda yadda. I think I'm saved because God and I have come to terms with our relationship. It's not traditional, mostly because of my childhood. At the moment, this is as far as we'll both judge. Yes, God has a sense of humor when it comes to me sometimes, and we both smack each other on the back of the head, but it's OUR relationship. It's not my step-mother's by any means. Which is more than I can say of a lot of Christians I know.

And to answer the question of what I think it means to be saved? I can't answer that question. It's different for everybody. Everyone has a slightly different definition of what it means to be saved to them. And I'm not about to tell you what other people think for one, and for two, the answer to that question is so complex for me, I don't even fully understand it myself, and that makes God giggle a bit... cause he knows me. lol

[walkinthespirit]

Originally Posted by Kriizzle

Keturah - The one request I have is the whole telling me I have issues. That's not what was up for discussion. I know my issues, and so does God. Every fellowship I've been to I've left because something is not right with everyone of them. Maybe it's because I have yet to find a church that is not an exactly replica of it's former years. Robot after robot. Not my idea of a Godly people.
I guess I didn't explain the whole "saved" topic well enough. I'm not saved in most people's eyes. I don't go to church every weekend, I didn't have a pinnacle moment in my life where it all made sense that I needed God, yadda yadda yadda. I think I'm saved because God and I have come to terms with our relationship. It's not traditional, mostly because of my childhood. At the moment, this is as far as we'll both judge. Yes, God has a sense of humor when it comes to me sometimes, and we both smack each other on the back of the head, but it's OUR relationship. It's not my step-mother's by any means. Which is more than I can say of a lot of Christians I know.

And to answer the question of what I think it means to be saved? I can't answer that question. It's different for everybody. Everyone has a slightly different definition of what it means to be saved to them. And I'm not about to tell you what other people think for one, and for two, the answer to that question is so complex for me, I don't even fully understand it myself, and that makes God giggle a bit... cause he knows me. lol

You have no fear of the Lord, and you have no respect for the Lord.

I think its the devil whom you are smacking on the back of the head, and trust me, if you continue , he will have the last smack and the last laugh.

I pray the Lord puts HIs hand upon you and convicts you of the HOLY SPIRIT! WO: Get her God!!!!