[cblansett]

My boy friend died 2 months ago from an overdose. We had been fighting for about a week when he died. We have a 2 yr old daughter and I need to know if he loved me or not since we were fighting and he died like that. I keep seeing him in my dreams telling me we were over cause he was tired of me. Does this mean he did not love me? It is driving me crazy. I can not keep living like this. some days I wish i could die.

[Jen]

I am sorry for your loss. Yet, it seems that you should remember the good times the three of you spent together instead of focusing on unknowns. I would really like to emphasize that I don't think you should focus on whether or not he loved you... at the end of the day, all that matters now is your relationship to God and your relationship with your daughter.

I pray that the God of all peace will surround you and your daughter at this most difficult time. May He encompass you with His love and keep you under His wing.

Jen

[Mark]

We have a 2 yr old daughter and I need to know if he loved me or not since we were fighting and he died like that.

I'm sorry for what you are going through, however, I agree with Jen that your focus should be on your daughter (she just lost her father) and your relationship with God - not on questions no one can answer.

[walkinthespirit]

My sympathies cblansett for your pain that you are suffering. God bless you! I would ask the Lord to protect your dreams, and pray the blood of Jesus over them. I believe the enemy is trying to torment you. Ask the Lord to give you dreams that are only from him. Ask Holy Spirit to hover over your home and for God to send HIS angels to protect, guide and minister to you, I ask that HE would put HIS hand upon you, and amen, keep you in the shadow of HIS wings, Beloved, I pray that you may prosper in all things and be in good health, just as your soul prospers. 3 John 1:2 Bless you and your daughter, in Jesus name amen!

Originally Posted by cblansett

My boy friend died 2 months ago from an overdose. We had been fighting for about a week when he died. We have a 2 yr old daughter and I need to know if he loved me or not since we were fighting and he died like that. I keep seeing him in my dreams telling me we were over cause he was tired of me. Does this mean he did not love me? It is driving me crazy. I can not keep living like this. some days I wish i could die.

cblansett,
It sounds like you need closure and because of your boyfriends life ending in tragedy it makes it even more difficult; because of this we often think of all the things we wish we would have said or not said, which is normal yet very painful. Something which I recommend you think about is the fact every relationship has conflict; this does not mean one does not love each other it just means you conflict. I am sure this sticks in your mind yet this doesn't have to mean it has anything to do with anything surrounding his death; in other words don't blame yourself or entertain the "what if" thinking. Secondly, his death may feel like the ultimate rejection of you and your daughter however this does not mean that he didn't love you; only God knows why this happened. You mention that you have a two year old daughter together which is something you can cherish; she is a result of your love for each other.
You mentioned feeling like you want to die and I think when we are overwhelmed with grief sometimes we can tend to feel that way but understand they are feelings and time will heal your emotions as you work through these things. Having been through a few tragic events I know that God has a way of bringing healing and restoration into our lives and turning things around; I too had dreams that were negative. God demonstrated His Fatherhood to me during that time in a very intimate way. He truly cares about all the details of your life and He will restore you. You have received some good counsel and there are people here who will pray for you. My heart goes out to you and I will keep you in my prayers. May God wrap you and your daughter in a blanket of His love and "hide you under the shadow of His wings."

[Amadeus]

Originally Posted by cblansett

My boy friend died 2 months ago from an overdose. We had been fighting for about a week when he died. We have a 2 yr old daughter and I need to know if he loved me or not since we were fighting and he died like that. I keep seeing him in my dreams telling me we were over cause he was tired of me. Does this mean he did not love me? It is driving me crazy. I can not keep living like this. some days I wish i could die.

Two very simple points:

"Fighting" is not an indication that there is no love. After 36 years my wife and I do not do much serious fighting any more, but in our early years 'fight' a very common scene in our household. I would say this is probably true in most of the even very successful marriages. Others here on this forum will probably be able to testify to this. All of my doubts about my marriage has dissolved as I have immersed myself more and more in Him.

Also like so many others, I have outlived some of those that I have loved in my life, including both of my parents. They, in the flesh, are gone, but they will always be with me in my heart. Most of the tears are gone now, but the memories will always be bright and clear.

May God continue to richly bless you as He already has with the child that is part of you and part of him!