Ok so I can first please start by saying out, "THIS IS NOT AGAINST ANY RELIGION OR DENOMINATION!" With that being said I have a big issue with a friend. She is a seven day adventist and is constantly pushing her faith on others and gets oh so mad when you say that you go to church on Sunday. Well she gets mad over a lot of things involving Christ. Some I could understand but others.. I once wrote a poem that was called, "Arguing with God." Because at that time I was. I know there is no point but I was mad and I was hurt and I wanted him to know it. Instead of turning my back on him I told him what was going on that was bothering me! She didn't like that. I got lectured for that.
I got baptized, I didn't do that right because it wasn't through an adventist church. She pushed to close down our high school and put up a new one and then decided that she doesn't want her kid going there! They teach theology as a fact not a myth and that she wasn't having. So I asked why she pushed for it so much? If it's good for MANY other Christian kids then why not hers? NO! Because she doesn't have a typical Christian kid. And that is what she told me.
I quit talking to her for a while because she is so pushy when it comes to God. Not that I don't think you shouldn't preach but I don't think you judge the way YOU think God will judge you! She has repeatedly called girls whores, sluts, and worse because of the way they dressed or a song they sang.
I told her, "Well you know people can change." And she went nuts on me telling that sluts like that can't change. WOW! Guess what?! It's been 5 years since I was sober and while I was drinking I did a lot of stupid things. I'm an entirely new person! I could have only imagined what you would have called me then! "Well you are who you are now and that is how I will judge you." How about you don't judge me honey?
If I posted a scripture on my facebook she would rant and rave and not stop about the meaning behind it etc. She made it difficult to be her friend. Finally she unfriended me and that is fine. I really don't care. It got intense. But I do have a few questions for her and I would love to hear her advice on it.
Then what shocked the most is when I tried to share on how wonderful God is I don't get a response especially when I am sharing stories about the kids I minister. I told her that she should bring her son up for cooking class. It's at the church and we give grace before lunch etc. But she won't come on the rez!! WHY?! She won't answer me. I get every once in awhile, "I pray that God doesn't condemn you to hell." WOW R U SERIOUS!!?? But she is! VERY SERIOUS!! So what do you when someone who used to be your good friend tells you are going to hell because you aren't perfect and never will be in the eyes of God? I would be perfect if I switched over the Seventh Day Adventist Church like he tells you to do in the bible. Then I'd be perfect if I followed their guidelines. But wouldn't SOME catholics tell me that as well? And some Lutherans? And some evangelist tell me that too? I mean the list goes on and on. Heck I am sure even some baptist yet would still tell me I'm doing things right.
So what do you do? What do you say to them? My saying so far is if I am doing wrong, then God please tell me. I read from my bible each and every night. I pray and talk to God all day everyday, I keep my Sabbath, I give tidings to the best of my ability. I minister through my church. So please if I am doing anything wrong then what is it? Just what is it?
So I woke up this morning just giving up. I am telling ya it as to be my depression going crazy lately. Inside of my fb messages, (I wish I would have checked them sooner) was a message from a friend, saying, a friend of hers is looking for native american writers/publishers and was wondering if she should give my her my name.. um.. YA! :) She says she has no idea what it's for or anything so I responded quickly with an ABSOLUTELY!! :) And of course she was offline so I am going to have to wait for her to get online who knows when and then get her friend my name and then wait to hear from this person. *sigh* I hate waiting. BUT I am hoping it is for something good. :) I'm thinking of poking God already this morning. Just give him a nudge and ask, "Are you listening? Um.. hello?! I need you.. listen please?? Important!" Okay maybe I won't go that drastic but will pray none the less. :)
And again I had a weird dream, very weird dream. This darkness is beginning to surround me and part of me is telling me it's just a dream while another part of me is telling me something more. *sigh* I don't know. I just don't know. So a praying I will do today, besides start ANOTHER book and I am telling ya, if her friend wants a book, oh people will be amazed on how fast these hands can work to put at least 60 pages in no time flat! At least that is what I hope she wants. *sigh* We shall see. I will keep people posted, on the life and times of this native christian writer..
For the first time ever I had a dream of satan. It wasn't actually him, it was his voice. It was weird. Strange when you have a dream and you can't understand the full meaning behind it. Maybe I should start from the beginning...
I was in a place like a warehouse, I was a man. And I was standing next to these boxes when my co-worker,(I'm assuming that's who he was) started telling me that he can control things. "Ya right man." "I can't. Why do you doubt me?" "Because the only person in my life that controls anything is the good Lord." He turned mad and scowled. Suddenly out of nowhere came this large amount of pink sludge. (Ya like the stuff on Ghostbusters. I haven't watched that movie in ages though!) First it started out on the floor and he spoke, "In the name of Satan I control you!" Then suddenly it just started till it formed like this cylinder. I was petrified I began to pray silently in my head.
He looked at me and said "go ahead! touch it!" Even though I was till praying I was drawn to touching it. I had to feel it. It was solid and wasn't going nowhere. I was memorized much more by what was going on that by what he was actually saying.
Soon it started pouring from around the sides of the boxes. I was still praying. He told me, just repeat the words that I said. I spoke them and he seemed satisfied with himself. I don't remember what I said exactly but I know the goo just formed around me. It didn't go anywhere else or swallow me it surrounded me and I began to ride inside. I prayed once more even while inside praying not to get hurt. Then I woke up.
Ignoring my dream I got up and got mad at one of my dogs for her being ridicoulos and doing her business on my floor. She knows better. I grab my cell phone and I look at and on the screen was the number 666. Now I know it's just a number and many people will tell you different etc. but after a dream like that and seeing that I just started to pray more. Asking God for whatever my dream means if anything, that he is where my heart is! Nowhere else but to him! I have a lot of praying to do now. Hmm..